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We are exploring the subject of gaining inner strength through a growing mind. Exciting things can happen when we begin to use and stretch our minds with some aggressive thinking. "When a person sets out to deliberately use his mind for the purpose of growth and development," Gordon MacDonald says, "…new order comes into his private world. His mind…. comes alive with new possibilities when he sets himself in what I call growth mode" (p. 101).
That sounds wonderful, but how do we activate our (often) underused minds? Gordon MacDonald suggests three helpful ways. The first is by becoming a good listener. Active thinking is about processing ideas and information, and other people provide one of the best sources of these things. "I have rarely met a person or been in a situation," MacDonald writes, "where there was not something valuable worth learning" (p. 104). Make it a priority to listen to other people and you will grow.
Often we have to pry others open with questions to get the stuff that makes for good listening. MacDonald continues, "On many occasions, I have had to generate listening by first asking questions… I like to ask men and women about their jobs, where they met their spouses, what they have been reading about, what they consider the greatest present challenges, and where they find God most alive in their lives. The answers are always useful" (p. 104-5).
Most people, MacDonald claims, are eager to share something of themselves with genuine listeners. Older people in particular are ready to impart the lessons of life. Sufferers and people experiencing tension and pressure are valuable people to listen to. And children also can be a fund of insight with their "brutal honesty." "There is something to learn from all people if we are only willing to sit at their feet and humble ourselves enough to ask the right questions… And in asking, we not only learn, but we are also able to encourage and love" (p. 105).
I experienced the blessing of listening on a recent flight from Sydney to Auckland. In the seat next to me was a management consultant from Sydney on his way to advise executives of Lion Breweries NZ. A few well-placed questions opened a seam of conversation that engrossed us for the three hours of the journey. I learned a great deal about my companion's views on management and leadership, but probably more about the pain and hurt a father feels in a broken marriage. I ended the journey stirred and stimulated.
MacDonald insists that there is one type of person we should listen to very carefully, namely, those who criticize us. While it is not easy for us to do so, listening to our critics can help us grow. "When I mentally list the most important truths on which I have based my own character and personality development," writes MacDonald, "I am astonished to discover that a large majority of them came through painful situations where someone, either out of love or anger, rebuked or criticized me soundly" (p. 106).
Active, aggressive listening - that's the first way we can begin to make our minds grow. All it takes is the deliberate effort to hear what someone is saying, and a good question or two to encourage them to look below the surface of the events or the ideas they are telling us about. And that's not beyond the reach of any one of us - on any day!