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Authoritative pastoral leadership is never easy. And it is especially not easy for those who are young in years. They are always prone to being looked down upon for their youth and inexperience. Gaining the confidence of older people is one of the greatest challenges young pastors and leaders face.
This, according to John Stott, has been a "perennial problem" both in the church and in society at large. "Older people have always found it difficult to accept young people as responsible adults in their own right, let alone as leaders," he writes. "And young people are understandably irritated when their elders keep reminding them of their immaturity and inexperience, and treat them with contempt" (p. 119).
Timothy faced this challenge in Ephesus. He was evidently still a young man - less than 40 years old. There were probably people in the congregation (and presbyters in the surrounding churches) who were at least twice his age. Yet these people were among those Timothy was to "command and teach" (1 Timothy 4:11). His ministry was to have an authoritative edge to it - it was not to be diffident and shrinking, but clear and firm. And that wasn't something a man of his age and temperament would find easy when older people were involved.
Aware of this Paul wrote, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity" (v. 12). Here we have the apostle's advice on how a younger leader is to gain the respect of his seniors. It is not, as Stott points out, "by boastful, assertive or aggressive behaviour. Not by throwing their weight about and trying to impose their will. But by a different means altogether" (p. 119).
God's way of young leaders gaining respect is through example. They are to silence their sceptics by public and private lives that are a pattern and inspiration to others. "The great temptation whenever our leadership is questioned, threatened or resisted" writes Stott, "is to assert it all the more strongly and to become autocratic, even tyrannical. But leadership and lordship are two quite different concepts. The Christian leads by example, not force, and is to be a model who invites a following, not a boss who compels one" (p. 120).
It's worth noting that Timothy's example was to be comprehensive, touching both public and private aspects of life. He was to be exemplary in his speech, that is, both in his personal conversation and in his teaching. Everything he said was to be marked by grace, truth and appropriateness. His life - his daily habits and practices - was also to be a pattern for the believers. They were to look at Timothy and see a man who practiced all that he taught and set a standard for them to follow. In particular they were to see a man who was a model of love, faith and purity. He was to demonstrate a deep and self-denying regard for the welfare of others, a steady commitment to the gospel no matter what the circumstances, and a moral integrity that couldn't be questioned.
Gaining confidence this way may take time, but it is nevertheless the best way of doing so. Younger leaders may appeal to their position (office), their education, or their skills as reason for being respected and obeyed. But none of these things will endear them to others - especially older saints - like an exemplary life. A godly life will produce trust like nothing else.