One of the
concerns that I had in returning to pastoral ministry was the threat of burnout
through fatigue. That had happened in earlier years resulting in significant
health problems and I was apprehensive of it happening again – especially in
the colder winter climate of the South.
But it hasn’t
happened again – at least, not so far. Indeed, my experience has been quite the
opposite. Being back in pastoral ministry is proving to be physically,
emotionally, mentally and spiritually invigorating rather than exhausting. The
change is so remarkable that I can’t but try to understand what has made the
difference.
Could it be, you
might ask, that I’ve found my niche in serving a small rural congregation made
up of warm-hearted mature Christians who think the same way that I do about
most things? Or is the ministry easier simply because I am older and more
experienced? Or once more, have the years of teaching at a theological college
made the difference?
As significant
as all these factors are, none of them explains the exhilaration I typically
feel in day-to-day ministry. As best as I can tell, that has its source in the
intimate, interactive love relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ that now lies
at the root of all that I do. While it is true that I’ve always tried to make
Jesus central to my ministry, in the past year or two things have deepened and
changed in that area. And I believe that accounts for the difference.
At the heart of what
has changed has been a greater intimacy with the Lord Jesus. For nearly forty
years I’ve known him as my Saviour and Lord, but recently I’ve also come to
appreciate him as a loving Friend and Companion. My early morning devotions
have been transformed from times of disciplined Bible reading, journaling and
prayer into intimate encounters with him. I have a deep sense of meeting with
Jesus in those early morning hours – and with the Father and the Spirit through
him. And in that context I’m aware of being taught, challenged, corrected and
led. A morning seldom passes without something significant happening.
But more than
that, out of these quiet times alone with God I’m finding the insight and
inspiration I need to feed the flock on Sundays and in mid-week Bible studies. I’m
still studying the Scriptures analytically, but because the Lord is more real
to me I find myself better able discern what he wants me to say to others and
how to do so. Indeed, I find myself so eager to minister the Word to others
that I can hardly wait for Sunday and Wednesday to arrive. And far more often
than not, the act of preaching and leading a Bible study energizes rather than
exhausts me.
This deeper
awareness of the Lord is also proving the key to ministering to people
individually and in small groups. Rather than simply seek his help and then try
to do my best, I’ve become more dependent upon the Lord himself in the course
of conversations and ministry interactions. I’ve sought to find out where he is
at work in people’s lives, and learned to be sensitive to where he may be
working even as we talk. Ministry then becomes a matter of “joining him in what
he is doing” rather than me trying to make things happen. And when that’s the
case, there is unspeakable joy.
A fresh instance
of this comes to mind. Just yesterday I met with two men for lunch. The moment
we got together one of them shared something he had read that had stirred his
heart. As we discussed this we found ourselves caught up in a stream of thought
and insight that drew us to Jesus and inspired us to serve him more
earnestly. To my mind, this was the Lord
himself at work in our midst. We were simply hearing and responding to what he
was saying through his Spirit in our conversation. And the outcome was pure
joy.
How different
this was to the often “forced” pastoral conversations that were so much part of
my earlier ministry. I’m not saying that those conversations were wrong or
entirely profitless. But I am saying that there is a vast difference between
them and conversations that rely on the active presence of Christ. When he is
present and at work, pastoral ministry – even where it entails sad and
difficult circumstances – is full of blessing. And as such, it is invigorating
rather than fatiguing.